umm, excuse me, doctor? my face is on fire

The Illustrated Catalog of ACME Products - roadrunners beware

i hope carol doesn’t see this auction. she thinks 7 inches is [this big]

well, that solves it. Ontario is out of this years running for our vacation spot

psssst.. hey kid.. wanna play with my puppet? Rusty does

dang why didn’t i think of that

err… umm

i’m now worth 1.28 Million on BlogShares

Mr. Bagger, remember - bread on top, samurai swords on bottom.

When an officer told Bryant not to spit on the interior window of a patrol car, he refused, stating, “I am Jesus, I do not need to behave.”
“I think it’s safe to say that the suspect was not the Nazarene,” [policeman] Donnell said.

but, seriously, you know what’s really funny? running over people with a car. ha ha ha

27 year-old guy poses as 13 year-old female. huh? warning - extremely poor grammar ahead

i was looking for a summer job. that was, until the only one i could get was crappy

stick ‘em up

you get one word. then you type like mad for only 60 seconds (or 1 minute, whichever occurs first). ready? go (thanks, driko

for $183M I’d take a headache

kids: Nemo will not end up in the ocean in one piece, ok?

psycho man spooks woman in odd way

Victorian predictions of the Year 2000 - interesting and not too far off in some areas

impressions
when you’re young, it’s amazing just how much your parents influence you.

my dad hated Pete Rose. i don’t know why, but he did. i can remember him ranting whenever ‘ole Pete came on the news. so, for years i hated Pete Rose. i didn’t know why i hated him, neither. dad did, so i did. dad didn’t force me to hate him. in fact, dad probably never realized i did that. when i collected baseball cards, i wouldn’t keep Pete Rose. after all, i hated the guy.

so i try my best not to force my opinions on my kids. today at lunch rian wanted to try a big ‘ole mushroom. personally i wouldn’t eat that unless i had to. but since he’s never experienced it, i feel that it’s better to let him form his own opinion, which i did, and he did. the poor kid liked it. yukk.

my brother is selling his motorcycle. go bid.

cute condom ad

are all pastors past convicts and con artists? come to think of it, most of the ones i know are… | here’s a picture of the convicted (for prostitution) pastor - maybe he can escape prison with some cardboard

man tells cop he was robbed of money he took from relatives - nice job, moron.

throwing babies out of 7^th story windows runs in the family - more morons

for the handcuff fetish weirdos - vintage cuffs for your enjoyment - you psychopaths

(i seem to be in a name-calling mood today. fun.)

i do not want to live in Angola. nor do i want to live in Mozambique. I’ll fulfill my life expectancy in the good ‘ole USA thankyouverymuch

yet another cool case mod, well, not a case mod, because there is no case. its a.. well, its a monitor mod. no, it’s not a monitor neither, well, it is, but it isn’t. oh just look at it - crap

just how fast is warpspeed? now you know

ok WTF is the only tag for this - Lipton Tea and morons shooting the $h!t out of each other

kitty litter cake - mmmmmmmmm
my grandma makes dirt cake. it’s quite yummy. she puts gummy worms and sometimes real grass on it. mmm. of course you can’t eat the grass. well, i suppose you could, but…

most women are sluts. i didn’t say it - they did. comments?

more fun with Legos

kev - if, in your travels, you ever make it to Iowa City, you’ll need this

large pink spaceship, smaller silver spaceships, flying tractors and cows

Will - wishes he were popular

oh goody - puns!

make your own pinhole camera

i’m installing PhotoShop 7.0 as we speak i type this. to celebrate, click here

err…

would you be shocked to find out that some German cops have arrested a cow?

Barbie is a lesbian?

boy, 13, steals mom’s credit cards and flys to Hawaii

do not meditate in trees

another dead mom story. mom - are you gettin nervous?
another try-to-murder-the-nagging-wife story - carol? nervous? i’m thinking Xanax

Nirvana?
i watched the VH1 Top 100 this weekend and was rather disappointed that Nirvana (Smells Like Teen Spirit) got the Number One vote. sheesh. even though i’d agree it is a good song, i do not believe that it demands the top spot. madonna, michael jackson all had top 10 presence, and i believe they should have for sure beat out Cobain’s crew. ah well, it was just a show. - oh, and where was Devo?!

on another personal note, I’m looking for a good banner rotation program. no need for high volume, only 6-8 banners rotating. i’m willing to pay up to $50 for it, if i can get a free 30 day trial. if you know of one, please let me know.

if this were done in my town, i’d be in trouble.

a Rubik’s Cube is always fun. but a RC on four dimensions is just too much stress for one guy to handle

Sitepoint has a good thread going right now about making money on blogs. i put up a little ad earlier this week for hosting. so obviously i’m not against making money. but i really don’t think if someone wants to make money that a blog is a logical way to go about it. currently i only get about 800 visits a month. i’m not marketing my blog. every once in a while someone BlogRolls me. with that small amount of traffic, and the many other sites like mine, how can i expect to make money from this? i can’t and i shouldn’t.

in a related story, Google released a new advertising deal called AdSense. could work well in some markets. not will’s thrills though.

a theft-resistant bicycle - well, kinda

True, true: Women recall every outfit they have worn for the past two decades. Men cannot remember what they were wearing yesterday without looking on the floor next to the bed.

err… umm… wtf?

problem #1 - i can’t find my clothes
problem #2 - i can’t find anywhere to park

When Bill McGarrity killed four-year-old Jessica Gallagher with a sword in January 2000, he believed she was an alien possessed by an evil spirit. He was sure his dog, God, would lick her back to life.

a case mod with lava lamp - interesting but in my opinion stupid

… the irate Cuban leader answered, adding further crude expletives, including references to the anatomy of the host’s mother - huh?

umm, excuse me, sir? have you seen my plane?

when giving false name to cops, hide tattoo on hand with real name

fast-food bandit dies in shootout at IHOP - funeral at Waffle House

i’ve republished my entire archive. apparently there were large numbers of 404’s. ok, who’s actually reading this crap? speak up now.

tragic: beer truck drivers go on strike

finally - a high school tradition worth watching

The Terminator movie is apparently a gay icon - who woulda known? I’ll bet Spongebob knew.

man mistakes $100 bill for $1 bill. happens to me all the time

i host blogs.
i host blogs cheap.
i host blogs for 4.3 cents a day.
i host blogs with no ads.
i can host your blog.
i host blogs.

ha!

the world’s luckiest man

high-speed CD ROM explosions

this is probably from Pearl, Mississippi

well i’m not quite sure what happened, but the price of this blog skyrocketed overnight, going from $4 to $30+. Perhaps I’ve erred, but I sold all 2200 shares. Now I hope the price drops! My net worth is close to 100k - not bad for a $500 start.

cool paper robots that apparently you can make yourself

carol and i went running this morning at a local park. it was fun. i’d like to go biking tonight but alas i don’t think it’ll happen.

shocking: teens kill friend, the have group hug, take his money and go party. sad. | also sad: dad sees daughter die in head-on crash

umm…

business owner gets robbed, subsequently parks his Hummer on top of getaway car

mmmmmmm coffee

i was done posting for the day when i ran across something too funny NOT to post… Moostafa’s Mecca of Appliance Repair - oh yeah baby!