how to defraggle your hard drive (aka motherdisc)

FBI interrogates guy for reading at a local coffeeshop

no one likes me. last week i was so depressed that i took a walk through the woods, and even then, alone, a stupid tree flipped me off…

do you play BlogShares? I did for a while and got bored with it. now i’ve got over $2.5 million dollars and nothing to do with it. so here’s a deal. link to my blog (from yours) and i’ll “pay” you $100,000 in BlogShares monies.

err… umm… what?

you butt face

ok i promise this is the last one… oh, hey, looky there!

a guy who doesn’t have PhotoShop posts a picture of his sister and asks for help… first mistake
do not post naked picture of hottie wife… whoops

baby born with three legs, no butt, and 2 weeners…

all about ships in bottles

did i post this once before?

Carol bought me a new 6155 Suzuki. it’s a sweet machine. my brother wanted to ride it so i let him… dangit

man tries to blow up his car (for incurance money) by putting grenade inside crock-pot. wastes perfectly good crock-pot.

not sure what this is but just keep on clickin’

umm… the Mountain Bike Militia has a game called X-treme Mountainbike Gun Golf… ok i’m up for it.

and speaking of bikes, last night we piled 2 bikes and 3 kids in the Durango and put 3 bikes and 1 kid in my Neon. halfway through town on the way to the park my bikerack broke and the three bikes were suddenly being drug behind my car. my oldest son’s bike was trashed. it was a free bike from carol’s mom and dad’s thrift store so no real loss there other than he’s out of a bike. he walked it over to Walgreens’ dumpster. carol’s bike rims were a little bent but no big deal, still ride-able after a little tweaking. and most importantly, my bike was not damaged, save the seat was tore up from being dragged a few blocks… no biggie, my butt hurts from riding a lot lately, and i need a better seat. now i have a reason to get one… ha! so we never made it to the park. bummer. unfortunately, i had taken a few energy/fat loss pills and since we didnt ride i suddenly had all this energy in me and i ended up getting sick about an hour later…

has anyone seen the money i buried? i know it’s around here somewhere

someone paid real money for this URL - jeffgoldblumiswatchingyoupoop.com

ultimate mod? umm, no. stupid mod? yes. make your old computer into a still

another poop link. maybe i should make a POTD image… hmm…

kev- get your daughter to memorize this and you’ve got it made…

gridlock is fun. lots. go. play. now.

mom and twin daughters rob bank

i rode 4 miles or so on saturday, not much at all. wanted to do more but my son was with me and he was tired. i’ll be making him come with me more. maybe just to protect me from flying gatorade bottles…

ok apparently i’ve had one too many Corona’s today…

how to bow when in Japan on business

umm… umm…

the Weird Picture Archive is pretty cool

welcome to the Internet. no one here likes you. and that email you’re getting ready to forward, i’ve already seen it.

we watched Phone Booth last night and i have to say it wasn’t worth the $3.99 i paid to rent it. oh well…

sad: teen accidentally kills friend in punching contest

You’ve got to be real careful or you’re liable to get something burnt when riding the bike naked

only in Alabama

carol, need a haircut?

The Price of Freedom

i’m working on XML syndication for this blog. stay tuned. hope you all have a nice weekend.

may God bless you. and your dog. and your car. and Martinez. and lest we forget, God bless our truckers

umm… how would Smokey the Bear solve this one?

bank robber writes ’stick em up note’ on back of resume
runner up: man flees court before jury’s innocent verdict

psychic charged by police - shouldn’t she have seen that one coming?

do not refuel scooter in kitchen

geek bling - retarded

cool: personalized postage stamps may be in the future

1951 Chevy Pontoon boat/truck for sale

yesterday i took the bike out for a ride at a local park. about 6 miles into my ride two teenagers in a little car pulled up in front of me on the wrong side of the road. as i proceeded to go around them, they threw a large water-filled Gatorade bottle at me. ouch. of course they took off and i was not about to chase a car. i wasn’t hurt too bad so i waited for them to exit the park (only one way out) and got their license plates, car description. as they drove off they flipped me off again. nice. i called the police.

after the police showed up, took my report, i rode another 6 miles. good day.

today i came in at 4:00 AM to work. i brought the bike. I have a 3:00 PM meeting with a promotional guy for my business, and i’m going to take a long lunch and cruise the streets of Saint Louis for a while. something to do. forgot my ball cap though…

the top 4 ugliest cars on the roads today - and i agree

i’m taking this to the next staff meeting

napster lives!

big corn oar - beware

may i introduce to you: duct tape superheroes

find out a lot about a person from their handwriting - don’t they have booths at Six Flags that do this crap?

the bad scary place is a SuperBad wannabe

what’s your new mail sound? mine is Dave Letterman

really good article on Lance Armstrong.
- the article mentions that cycling is a lot like any sport, you have to watch to understand it. it amazes me how much strategy is involved in cycling. and after jumping on my bike and riding 10 or so miles around my home town, i’m amazed at the way these guys do 100 miles a day for over 20 days…
- speaking of Lance (and we were), monday he got flipped off his bike by a bystander, he got up, nearly lost his (remaining) manhood, then suddenly something switched in him, and the guy amazingly just took off up the side of this mountain. it was really wild.
- there’s a contest out now sponsored by Trek and the winner gets to ride a day with Lance. i’m sorry, i’d love to meet the guy, but i don’t think i’d want to ride with him. good god that would be the end of my life.
Me: "So Lance, what are we doing today?"
Lance: "Well, since you’re a fat guy in your 30s, i thought we’d take it easy and just do 50 miles today…"

i thought i just saw a mouse

ok ouch

ok now my freakin’ head hurts - and so does his

carol just made a Eagles Greatest Hits CD. maybe we should reconsider this years vacation plans…

some kind of weird contraption

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. “Oh, no,” I said. “Disneyland burned down.” He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
- Jack Handey
a collection of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

my kind of site: deadsquirrel.com

doctor removes wrong kidney during knee replacement surgery - wtf??

my dad used to threaten me with this all the time. and that was before the days of carpeted trunks…

hockey player found dead - 14 years later. icing was the penalty

how to make the perfect hamburger

best post ever: hours and hours of entertainment

err… umm… baa…?

create your own maze

apparently my brother has a younger twin i didn’t know about…

kick a$$ mini tanks

this is hilarious - as poop always is!

today is a rest day on the Tour. and here’s a preview of the last 5 stages. carol will be glad that there’s only 5 more days of boring bicycles on TV…

punch yellow
do you remember slug bug? when we were younger we played. i’m sure there are varying rules, but the main rule is basically getting slugged, which, if playing against a stronger person, is not always fun.

well, my 6 year-old has apparently created his own version of the game. it’s called punch yellow. i have no idea how or where he got this idea, i can only surmise it is a spinoff of the original. in punch yellow, you have to watch for yellow cars. they cannot just have a yellow stripe, they have to be at least 90% yellow. most popularly this seems to involve Mustangs and Cavaliers.

Anyway, when you see the first one, you say "punch yellow". the second one becomes "punch two" then "punch three" and so on. and this is really odd: there is no punching on the part of the 6 year-old, however if an adult sees a car, says "punch (number)" and does not punch the 6 year-old, the point does not count, and you go back to your previous ’score’. of course you won’t see me hitting my boy as we drive down the road, but a tap on the shoulder seems to suffice, for now. and i’m going to regret the day that he realizes that he should be the one doing the punching…

carol left a pizza cutter in the oven and it melted. dang that stinks. i need a Corona

good: i need a mailbox that matches my SUV

those conversations that you had when you were drunk weren’t as interesting as you thought. sorry kev.

BIG clues on the next Matrix movie: “I’m doing a lot of diving and running and jumping and stuff.” - uhh, thanks. wow. i feel like i just saw the movie…

Amish Technology - no, really.

i need a Mentos

do people actually buy this stuff?

!FISHYS! is fun