Woman arrested for biting off man’s lip during kiss
Authorities say she bit off the bottom lip, which was found after the assault but couldn’t be reattached. The couple once dated, but now are just friends. Drinking may have been involved in the incident, which occurred at what’s called…

Couple gets married on carousel at county fair
It’s the feel-good-this-ride-didn’t-malfunction story of the day. (News-Enterprise)…

There’s nothing worse than a perv at a public pool
A 40-year old man was arrested at a Phoenix public swimming pool after a woman reported the guy was watching her while he masturbated under the water. Her son, wearing goggles, dove down to confirm his actions. (Arizona Republic)…

Warning! Strippers are returning to Cherry Valley Golf Course!
Short story, but some funny comments follow it. (Pocono Record)…

Grape-juice spiker avoids prison, thanks to forgiving churchgoers
A prosecutor wanted to give it to Wendell Woodroffe for spiking grape juice and poisoning more than 40 church members, but the victims urged the judge to show mercy. Woodroffe got off with probation. (Stamford Advocate)…

Couple in “I Love Lucy” costumes complain about contest loss
An audience applause meter at a ballpark put them in third place and now they’re angry. They contend the other contestants didn’t follow the rules and should have been disqualified. Sore losers! (St. Petersburg Times)…

Restaurant owner runs into pair who stiffed him for $410
The two dined for over five hours, then sneaked out. The fuming restaurant owner happened upon the couple — one guy was wearing a wig — three hours later at another restaurant. He held one deadbeat diner until cops arrived;…

It’s nice to see a small outfit benefit from Harry Potter hype
For Ulysses Press, a successful book sells about 50,000 copies. But its “What Will Happen in Harry Potter 7″ has sold about five times that. “We had no idea it was going to be like this,” says the Berkeley publisher….

There’s nothing worse than a perv at a public pool
A 40-year old man was arrested at a Phoenix public swimming pool after a woman reported the guy was watching her while he masturbated under the water. Her son, wearing goggles, dove down to confirm his actions. (Arizona Republic)…

The White Sox should insist this guy not wear their shirts
The Chicago team doesn’t need to be linked to a public masturbator. (Dickson Herald)…

Alaska family hits 2 moose in 1 hour on 7-7-07
Jennifer Hecimovich, 21, was the first to hit a moose. The impact totaled her 1999 Mercury Mountaineer, caving in the roof and hood, smashing the windshield and jamming the passenger-side door. Then her mother struck one. “They’re everywhere,” says the…

Teacher awarded $52,000 for ex-boyfriend’s book of lies
Charles W. Azain, now 56, was so upset about Bonnie Gifford telling him to get lost that he wrote “The Bonnie Chronicles” and sent copies to the middle school where Gifford was a sixth-grade teacher. The book was filled with…

Flight attendant snaps over baby’s repetitive “Bye, bye plane”
“You need to shut your baby up,” the flight attendant told the mother before booting her and her 19-month-old son off the plane. “I was crying, I was upset and I was thinking, ‘What am I going to do? I…

Update: Mom pleads guilty after toddler wanders onto I-465
Her 3-year-old boy was clad only in a dirty diaper and a Superman T-shirt when he left the family’s apartment and was found running in the northbound lanes of the interstate. The mom, by the way, is pregnant again. (Indianapolis…

Stolen horse shows up in Fourth of July parade
Desirae Harr, who was attending the parade because her sister was riding in it, knew she had found Sizzle after seeing a distinctive “Z” brand on the horse’s rear left flank. The people who had Sizzle said they didn’t know…

Pot advocate gets just a day in jail, but still lectures judge
Ed Rosenthal, who was convicted of growing pot plants for medicinal use, told the federal judge: “I am proud of what I did. I know I have done nothing wrong.” Referring to the two juries that convicted him of violating…

Man wondered if body in his windshield “was just a dream”
An update: The Wisconsin man who allegedly drove a mile with a body lodged in his windshield told police he had six shots of whiskey before he went to a friend’s house and had four to five glasses of vodka…

Child calls 911 hundreds of times on old cell phone
The 4-year-old used a deactivated cell phone to make 287 emergency calls. When finally located, the little girl said she wanted McDonald’s. She gave out her address after the center promised to fill her order. Instead, it sent the police….

Girl, 11, arrested for DUI after high-speed chase
Her Monte Carlo was going faster than 100 mph. It eventually sideswiped another vehicle, then flipped. (Press-Register)…

Man poses as Merle Haggard’s son to make a few bucks
Police say Mark Sams, 48, was signing autographs as Noel Haggard and charging people a fee to have their picture taken with him outside a lounge in Montana. (Daily Interlake)…